Sexuality in the time of COVID: Safety, Sexting and Glory Holes

The past year and half has been tough. Multiple lockdowns and time spent away from friends and family have greatly impacted our social lives, as well as our sex lives. If you’re looking to start dating, or having sex, there's a few things you should consider first to ensure you and your partner/s stay safe in these strange COVID-19 times.

Can COVID-19 be transmitted through sex?

By now, we all know that the main source of transmission of COVID-19 is through respiratory droplets from an infected person. There is currently no evidence that COVID-19 can be transmitted through genital contact, including vaginal, rectal and oral sex.

However, some studies have found the virus in the semen of some people recovering from COVID-19. Additional studies have found the virus to be undetectable within the semen of those with or recovering from the virus. As it stands, data available on the virus indicate that it cannot be transmitted sexually, and that you are more likely to catch the virus via respiratory droplets during sex through kissing and close contact.

Similarly, the virus has been found in the faeces of people infected with the virus, and although the rate of transmission is thought to be low, there may be a possibility of getting the virus through rimming, or any type of mouth to anus sex. More research is needed to determine if faeces is able to transmit COVID-19.

How can I have sex safely during the pandemic?

It goes without saying that the safest sex you can have during the pandemic is with yourself. There are a variety of toys that can help liven up this experience including butt plugs, dildos, vibrators and cock rings. Get curious with your body and explore parts of your body that you may have previously neglected.

Sexting and video sex are also COVID safe ways to have some fun. There are a variety of remote controlled sex toys that are controlled via the internet or Bluetooth, including an array of We-Vibe toys, as well as the E-Stim Connect Pack for electro play. These can be used anywhere around and are perfect for those separated due to border restrictions.

If you are considering any type of online sex, there are a few things to remember:

Consent

As always, gain consent from the person who you are wanting to send a sext to. Make sure they are wanting to receive the sext and that they are in a safe place to do so. You don't want your naked pictures showing up when your partner is showing their grandparents photos of their new dog.

Consider using encrypted messaging apps such as WhatsApp

It’s important to consider how your data is being sent and stored. Encrypted apps such as WhatsApp securely send your data to your partner, and do not store the photos on their server. However, sexting can never be 100% and you can't control what happens to the photos once it reaches your partner's hands.

Limit the amount of identifying imagery in the photo or video

When taking photos be mindful of anything that can identify you, or where you live. Things such as tattoos, birthmarks and landmarks in the background are best left out in case the photos do get leaked.

What about physical sex?

If you're a bit bored with solo play and looking to explore with one or more partners, there are ways to help minimise the risk of transmission. Firstly, make sure you are abiding by the local public health laws in your area. This is vital to help protect our community, particularly those who are immunocompromised. Stay at home if you’re feeling unwell and get tested.

If you're feeling good and ready to date there are some ways to play safer:

• Avoid sex parties and orgies and try to limit the number of sex partners you have.
• Avoid kissing.
• Try mutual masturbation at a safe distance.
• Maybe medical kink, or BDSM is your thing? Incorporate masks, or muzzles to play time.
• Get creative. The New York City health department encouraged people to “get kinky” and build glory holes to limit face-to-face contact. So if you’ve got some time and the skills, start building.
• As said above, rimming may pose a transmission risk, consider using dental dams and other forms of barrier protection, like condoms.
• Practice good hand hygiene as well as sexual hygiene. Remember to wash all sex toys. Wash your sheets and clean down surfaces used.

What if we’re both/ all vaccinated?

Although studies have found that vaccinated people are much less likely to pass on the virus, there is still a risk of transmitting the virus to others. If you’re feeling unwell, even if you're vaccinated, stay home and get tested.

Does this mean STI rates are going down?

Initially, it looked like lockdowns and social distancing were going to decrease STI rates. However, new research from the University of Sydney and Western Sydney Sexual Health Centre, found that people have avoided getting tested for STIs during the pandemic, which is driving up the rates of STIs and blood borne viruses (BBV).

It’s important to get tested for STIs and BBVs, even during a pandemic. You are still able to leave your house to get tested for STIs and BBVs during lockdown, provided you are not experiencing any symptoms of COVID-19. If you consistently have sex with the one partner, you should get tested once every 12 months. If you think you have potential been exposed to an STI, or have had unprotected sex with a new partner, get tested immediately.

More Resources

For more information on sexual health and where to get tested for STIs access the NSW Government’s Play Safe site, or the Victorian Government’s sexual health services. For more information on COVID-19, access the Federal Government’s site, which also has links to each State and Territory’s COVID sites with information on current restrictions and where to get tested.

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Blog image curation by Carlos Mantilla: 'Prep to Bottom', 'Practical usage' & 'Being Positive' by David Thai.

Rhiannon John is a sexologist, freelance writer and content creator living between Melbourne and Brooklyn. You can find her on Instagram