To Deprive & Play: Sensations and Deprivation

Folks, I like sex and physical intimacy. I think they’re fun, and if you’re reading this post, there’s a reasonable chance that you agree. Sometimes though, we find ourselves in a bit of a groove where we are doing the same things over and over again, and are looking for something new and different to try to spice things up a bit.

This is a common problem, and one of the frequent recommendations is to try something a little kinky. Kink is also great, but not everyone is ready to whip out the chains, floggers, and spanking paddles right off the bat (pun not intended!), and may want a more gentle introduction to the world of kink and BDSM. Sensation play and sensory deprivation are great ways to take that first step of exploring something unusual without moving too far outside our comfort zones.

What is sensation play?

Put simply, sensation play focuses on how we feel and react to certain types of touch, be that touch from a body part (ours, or that of a partner), or using some other object. Skin is the largest organ of the human body, and is often very sensitive to different sensations, which can be used to elicit pleasure, discomfort, pain, and a bunch of other feelings. In sensation play, we experiment with touching different body parts in various ways to create feelings of softness, firmness, sharpness, coolness, warmth, comfort, and others, which can release a collection of happy brain chemicals, like oxytocin.

Sense play can be a great form of foreplay, or even the main event of an intimate experience with one or more partners, and can be combined with other forms of BDSM and kink to heighten pleasure and variety.

What is sensory deprivation?

Sensory deprivation is the practice of dulling or depriving some of our senses, like sight, hearing, and touch, which can have the effect of heightening other senses. It often goes hand-in-hand with sensation play, because it can greatly enhance the experience.

There’s nothing quite like wearing a blindfold while waiting for your partner to touch you somewhere on your body, and wondering whether that touch will be a gentle caress, a light fingernail scratch, or one of dozens of other possibilities, to help build anticipation and excitement. I’m getting happy chills just thinking about it!

What are the risks of sensory play and deprivation?

Sensation play and sensory deprivation can both be done with very little risk, but the risk can be dialled up depending on your level of comfort. As an example, being blindfolded while waiting for your partner to run their fingers across your body is pretty safe, especially if you’ve negotiated in advance which areas you don’t want them to touch, and have chosen a safe word ready in case you need them to stop at any time.

On the other hand, if your idea of sensation deprivation is laying in a vacuum bed so that you can’t move, see, or barely hear, and have to think carefully about how to ensure you can breathe and communicate safe words and boundaries to your partner, you’ve obviously got more risk involved that you need to account for.

What are the benefits of sensory play and deprivation?

So, why would you want to try sense play and sense dep? Well, as we’ve covered above, it can be a low risk, simple, and inexpensive way to spice up intimacy between partners, either as a precursor to sex, or just for the pleasure of the sensation itself.

Sensory play and deprivation can also be great for people who are on the asexual spectrum, who don’t necessarily like, want, or need sex in their lives, but still enjoy the intimacy of physically touching their partners in different ways.

These things can also help build trust between partners, as we communicate and negotiate different ways we like to be touched, be that related to specific body parts, or specific sensations or toys that feel good.

How can sensory play and deprivation be integrated into your sex life?

Aww yeah, this is my favourite part! So far we’ve covered what sense play/dep are, why they’re beneficial, gone through some risks, and discussed a few different types of play. Now let’s dig into the nitty gritty and talk about specific things to try!

Let’s say you’ve decided to experiment with sensation play and/or sensory deprivation. Where the heck do you start? Before we get right into the fun bits, it’s worth doing a quick check-in with your partner(s) to establish any boundaries or limits they have. Is there any sensation they particularly like or dislike, or any no-go areas on their body, such as a spot that’s unbearably ticklish, or somewhere they’ve had an injury that is sensitive? Ah, they hate having their armpits tickled, but really enjoy gentle caress of their inner thighs that might be a little ticklish, but not too much, and they love having fingernails scratched down their back (with a pain intensity of, say, 4 out of 10)? Great! This is super useful info to help ensure a mutually fun experience!

Now you’ve established some boundaries, we could start with something simple, like having our partner sit down on a chair (or the floor, or edge of the bed), either wearing some close fitting clothes that are easy to feel touch through, or in their underwear, or naked, depending on their level of comfort. Once they’re in position, you could gently run your fingers over their forehead and down their cheek, or around their ears and down the side or back of their neck, perhaps gently running your fingernails up the nape of their neck for a slight tingling sensation.

As you’re doing this, pay attention to verbal and non-verbal cues to work out what your partner is particularly enjoying (and if you’re not sure, ask!). Once you’ve each warmed up a bit, you could work your way down their body a bit, either down their back, arms, or chest, trying different pressures of touch as you go, and possibly removing layers of clothing for easier access to sensitive skin.

Alternatively, you could move straight to the far end of their body, and touch along their feet, shins, and thighs, working your way towards their core from both top and bottom, changing things up to keep them interesting.

At some point, you could ask your partner to lay down so they’re more comfortable, or suggest they put on a blindfold to help increase their sense of touch. Some people often find they reflexively close their eyes when they’re experiencing sensations like this, because it helps intensify the feeling, but every body is different.

Really, the sky is the limit here, even without introducing any fancy equipment, so experiment and have fun with it! Whether you work from gentle to firm touch, ending in a satisfying full-body cuddle, or getting your partner aroused to the point you end up having some hot sex (whatever that means to you), as long as everyone’s enthusiastically enjoying themselves safely, there’s no wrong way to go!

Toys to enhance sensory play and deprivation

Alright, you’ve explored as far as you want to without playing with specific toys (aside from perhaps a make-shift blindfold), and are looking for something a little more interesting. What are your options? Oh gosh, there are so many of them!

Obviously, we’ve already mentioned blindfolds, but it’s hard to express how much they can improve an experience, and if you haven’t tried them yet, it’s worth seriously considering! Next, you could look around for other household items. Feather dusters, ice, cold or warm water, or other utensils that aren’t likely to cause injury are just a few examples, so be creative and have a look around!

Once you’ve exhausted everything in your home, you may wish to start looking for specialist items to play with, and Eagle Leather has a huge selection to choose from. Catnails or a Wurtenberg (pin) wheel, candles for wax play (as long as you’re aware of the safety precautions), or even just steel toys that have been stuck in the freezer for an hour or so before being run over someone’s body, can all be really exciting.

Combining sensory play and sensory deprivation with bondage, so partners can enjoy the teasing of slightly edgy sensations without being able to wriggle away can be a great add-on, too. This can be done relatively safely with wrist and ankle restraints, as long as you’re comfortable negotiating this with your partners.

We’ve covered what sensation play and sensory deprivation are, what their benefits are and why you might want to give them a shot. We’ve also gone through how to consider any risks that may be involved in more adventurous activities, how you can explore sense play and sense dep with your partners, and what sort of toys are available to enhance the experience.

Hopefully this gives you a comprehensive starting point for exploring sense play/dep, covering off some of the low-barrier possibilities, and has piqued your excitement for the more adventurous aspects of play. Be creative, communicate clearly, stay safe, and above all, have fun!